Breaking the Habit
by GohanWinner
Summary: Song fic to Linkin Park's Breaking the Habit...yes....yes...Raph goes cwazy..and stuff happens...R&R?


TMNT Song fic:

~*Memories consume  
Like opening the wound  
I'm picking me apart again  
You all assume  
I'm safer in my room  
Unless I try to start again*~

Raphael pounded away on his punching bag hanging from the ceiling of his room. He was in another fit, and was tired of being cooped up in this sewer. In a rush of adrenaline he hit the bag so hard it came loose from the chain. He stormed out of his room and jumped to the lower level of the lair. As he stormed out, Leonardo crossed his path. "Woah now, Raph, where do you think you're goin'?"  
  
~*I don't want to be the one  
Who battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused. *~

The turtle twitched at Leo trying to stop him again. "Goin' out. Got a problem?" 

  
Leo sighed and crossed his arms, "Not tonight, the last outing we were seen. We have to give the city time to realize that they DIDN'T see four walking turtles. Your going topside will make things worse." Raphael scoffed, and his eye twitched slightly.   
  
~*I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I know it's not alright  
So I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit tonight.*~

"AGH! LEO! You idiot! You really think they'll ever forget that?! You've seen it all over the news. If they so much as see a guy in a green jacket run by they'll go nuts! Are you really so stupid that you can't see that?! No matter what we do we won't be hidden! Get a clue, idiot!" Leo shook his head.

He was even angrier now. He rushed forward and swung a punch at his brother. Leonardo dodged the blow, and thrust a kick at Raph. "YOU get a clue! In a few weeks there'll be another story, and they'll forget all ab—" A foot hit Leo's jaw and knocked him to the ground. Mike and Don, hearing something clattering down below came from their rooms. Seeing Raph about to jump on Leo and pound his head in, they jumped to the lower level.

The two ran forward and grabbed Raph, holding him back. Angrier, he flipped Don over, slamming him into the floor. He turned around and broke Mike's grip. He punched him hard in the face and knocked him over into the small pool in the middle of the lair.  
  
~*Cultured my cure  
I tightly lock the door  
I try to catch my breath again  
I hurt much more  
Than anytime before  
I have no options left again*~

Realizing what he had just done, Raph backed away, shaking his head. He ran through the sewers, trying to run away from them, the shame, and the guilt. Tears welled up, what was wrong with him? He turned a final passage and stopped. He fell to the ground panting. Finally, he broke into tears.

  
  
~*I don't want to be the one  
Who battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused.*~

Dusk came, and shortly after night followed. Raph slept, albeit not peacefully, nor soundly. Thoughts of what he would do if he were to get angry as that again. What if he finally snapped? What if…what if. 

His brothers, when morning came went looking for him through the sewers. They knew, or more accurately, hoped, that he hadn't left the sewers.  
  
~*I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I'll never be alright  
So, I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit tonight*~

Raphael hit the wall when he woke up. Stupid him, making things tense between them. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "Ugh…that is the LAST time…you hear me?! THE LAST TIME!!" After a few minutes of standing in the same place, he walked out of the small dead end he had slept in and walked through the twisting tunnels of the sewers back home. Better to face them now then keep dreading it.  
  
~*I'll paint it on the walls  
'Cause I'm the one that falls  
I'll never fight again  
And this is how it ends.*~

Raphael walked for a few minutes before seeing three figures coming toward him. He stopped in his tracks, should he keep running? No, now it was time to face them. He ran forward, and saw his brothers smile. "Raph—" Leo started, but Raphael silenced him.

"No, let me talk now." His brother nodded. "I—I'm sorry, I know it doesn't mean much, but sometimes I—" Sometimes what? How could he phrase it?

  
  
~*I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
But now I have some clarity  
to show you what I mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I'll never be alright  
So, I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit tonight.*~

After thinking for a few minutes, he finally spoke. "Sometimes I just go ballistic. Everything I'm angry at, everything that upsets me… It just builds and builds until it bursts. I guess yesterday was really bad. I want to try and stop but I can't… it always happens…. I don't want to be like this, Leo…" And so, the fearless, reckless Raphael weeped once more, in front of his brothers. Hadn't he said to himself before that he would never cry, especially in front of them? It didn't matter now.

"It's okay Raph, we know. We don't care about you any less because you go ballistic every now and then…. It's okay." Don and Mike nodded, and Raph wiped the tears away.

"Thanks, guys…just….don't tell anyone about the waterworks, alright?" His brothers chuckled and nodded. They walked away, Leo and Raph at the back, and Leo placed his hand on Raph's shoulder.

---

Yeah well….I don't like the ending much…but ya know…R&R please?


End file.
